and, maybe, homelessness...
It's June so you know what that means, right? Right?! Well, if the title didn't give it away, it's the start of "Pride Month" and I must admit there's something about the month of June that just feels... sharp inhale ... different! June has an air that just cannot be denied, lesbi honest. Unlike March, June tends to have a warm embrace that also can feel like you're hugging that friend who doesn't really like hugs. You've waited for it but now you're not sure what it's doing...
I'm that friend. I know, I know, that comes as a surprise.
To be completely transparent, I had no intentions of writing about Pride for the month of June until I had a conversation with my co-founder. In fact, I wrote another blog posting, now to be released later this month, at the start of May that has nothing to do with Pride. It was that conversation with her that reminded me what a missed opportunity this would have been; thank you, Marisol.
Likely contrary to what you believe about me, I wasn't a popular kid in grade school; I only became this cool as an adult (even I laughed as I typed that, it's okay). Growing up there was something I didn't know about myself, I believe, everyone else felt they knew but didn't want to tell me and there were comments made by some family members that made me feel I needed to figure it out quickly because it was somehow harmful. I didn't figure it out in grade school, not even after my cousin, whom I loved dearly, "came out". With him, though, it was kind of a Tevin Campbell family moment minus the internet and the whole family; he told me with a family friend, over the phone - we all knew but what was there to say? There was never a big "come to Jesus" moment in which a group discussion took place.
Yes, that is irony you smell.
While I've never heard of heterosexual people sitting their family and friends down to announce their sexual orientation, what I know for sure is that (some) people who identify as LGBTQIA2S+ feel a sense of pride when they share a piece of their authentic self with family and friends. However, for some, especially youths, what happens next is often life altering... shattering, even. Rejection with ultimatums are not the things your young years should be made of but is the reality for about 50% of young people who "come out" to their family in an effort to simply live with a sense of pride. Often, the choice between being who you are and being who others believe you should be is soul crushing and the "wrong choice" could begin the cycle of chronic homelessness. According to the True Colors Fund, approximately 40% of 1.6 million youth who experience homelessness each year identify as LGBT... It gets "better"... of the total youth population, LGBT youth 'only' make up about seven percent. If you've never had to figure out where you were going to sleep, eat, or take a shower, you're a part of small community. Allow me to challenge anyone who has never had to think about those things to think about having to do them before you've even hit puberty and before your brain has completely developed! This is often the experience of unsheltered LGBT youth, pushed outside of the margins.
Because Meryl's Safe Haven was founded on the idea that the 18 - 24 year-old population aging out of the foster care system is a bit of a forgotten and underserved population, I want to add another layer. In a study conducted by the National Alliance to End Homelessness (NAEH), it was reported that “12 to 36 percent of emancipated foster care youth will report being homeless at least once after discharge from care.” It should be noted, if someone experiences homelessness at a young age, does not have financial resources nor employment or skills to obtain financial resources or employment, the vicious cycle of insecurities (food, housing, etc.) will have an irreversible impact on their mental health and life expectancy. The reality is, when your basic needs are not met it is nearly impossible to do anything else.
As we prepare to open the doors of our final location that will service young people who have aged and/or are aging out of foster care, allow me to sound like a person "of a certain age" for a moment and remind you that it takes a village. As a community, as service providers, as neighbors, as "adults" - who knew one day some of us would be the adults we went in search of when we were in trouble - we are called to provide support and care to young people and give them an opportunity to thrive! To attend events and activities without fear because of who they are.
As a pre-adoptive parent myself there is no doubt in my mind the impact this work can have and does have on the lives of young people beyond the single aha moment. We must create policies that include young people who are often left out of the discussion of homelessness short of being a dependent in family shelter and open the doors of second chances for youth who thought that ship had sailed the day they realized their idea of a "forever home" would look differently from what they once envisioned because they weren't adopted.
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