October, We Need To Talk
October, we need to talk. Seriously! I'm not sure what I did to deserve the series of plot twists you delivered, but somewhere along the way, I started wondering whether you had confused my calendar with a television drama.
Unexpected expenses? Check.
Difficult conversations? Check.
Personal surprises I certainly didn't order? Check.
A trip to the animal hospital with Tank? Unfortunately, check.
And just when I thought we had reached the season finale, October apparently had another episode ready to air.
Now, I know life doesn't always go according to plan. I've lived long enough, I'm raising a family, and I've led a nonprofit long enough to understand that. But every once in a while, a month comes along that makes you wonder whether the universe is testing your patience or simply has an unusual sense of humor.
October was that month.
And while I can laugh about some of it now, there were moments that weren't funny at all. Moments that required me to stop, even briefly, and consider what was happening around me.
As I began thinking about what I wanted to share in November, I asked a few members of our team what they thought I should write about. One suggested a reflection in honor of Día de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead. Another suggested talking about the unexpected costs, challenges, and roller coaster that October had become. And somewhere in the mix of all of that, "Sappy [expletive]" became a term of endearment.
I'll let you imagine how that conversation went!
But that's also what I appreciate about the people I work with. We can have honest conversations, find humor in unexpected places, and challenge one another to look at things differently. And that brings me to why I started sharing these reflections in the first place. I've always wanted this blog to be more than a recap of what's happening at Meryl's Safe Haven. My hope has been that someone considering starting a nonprofit, or someone already knee-deep in running one, might find something useful in the lessons I'm learning along the way.
Sometimes those lessons come from professional accomplishments. Other times, they come from life reminding you that your carefully constructed plans are merely suggestions. At first, I thought my team's recommendations were two very different topics, but the more I considered them, the more I realized they belonged in the same conversation. Because October wasn't just about what happened. It was about what those experiences reminded me of: the importance of family, the unpredictability of life, the financial and emotional costs of unexpected circumstances, and the moments we sometimes need to stop long enough to appreciate what really matters. And perhaps most importantly, it reminded me that not every unexpected turn is a setback. Sometimes it's simply an invitation to see things differently.
October Had Other Plans
There are months that challenge your patience. Months that challenge your leadership. And then there are months that make you look at the calendar and ask, "Are we done yet?"
October definitely fell into that last category. At Meryl's Safe Haven, we've been navigating the ordinary and not-so-ordinary challenges that come with operating and growing a nonprofit organization. Budgets, funding opportunities, staffing, program operations, partnerships, and the never-ending work of ensuring that the families and young adults we serve have access to the resources and support they need. Some days bring exciting developments. Others require difficult decisions. Most bring a little of both. That's the nature of the work, and it's work I remain deeply committed to, but while all of that was happening professionally, life had a few personal developments of its own.
On October 22, I received news about someone I love deeply. The kind of news that makes you think about time differently. About the people who helped shape you. About the conversations you still want to have, the memories you hope to make, and the moments we sometimes assume will always be available. Some experiences are too personal to unpack publicly. Some situations are still unfolding. And sometimes, the most meaningful thing you can do is simply acknowledge what you're feeling without needing to explain it to the world.
That was one of those moments.
And while I continued navigating the ordinary responsibilities of life, I found myself thinking more intentionally about family, time, and the people who matter most. Then came Wednesday, October 28. Tank, my dog, and I was hit by a car on our way home from a walk.
And if October hadn't already provided enough unexpected developments, it apparently decided we needed a visit to the animal hospital, too. The days that followed brought and will continue to bring worry, uncertainty, veterinary care, and the kind of waiting that makes time feel like it's moving at an entirely different speed. Tank was finally able to come home on Friday evening, October 30.
And, of course, there will be the bills. Because apparently, even when life throws you an unexpected curveball, it still expects payment.
I'm incredibly grateful Tank is home. But the experience was another reminder of just how quickly an ordinary day can become something entirely different. One minute, you're managing your usual responsibilities. The next, you're making decisions you hadn't anticipated, facing expenses you hadn't budgeted for, and rearranging priorities you thought were already settled.
And isn't that how life works sometimes?
You can plan carefully, make responsible decisions, and prepare for the future, and still find yourself facing something completely unexpected. Sometimes life doesn't need you to make a mistake for things to become complicated. Sometimes life just happens.
That's a reality I see reflected in the work we do every day.
The Unexpected Costs Nobody Plans For
As the CEO of Meryl's Safe Haven, I spend a considerable amount of time thinking about budgets. Program budgets. Operating expenses. Payroll. Revenue projections. Funding gaps. Sustainability.
Numbers.
Numbers.
And more numbers.
And while financial planning is essential, October reminded me that some of life's most significant expenses are the ones we never see coming.
Remember that register sound we talked about in earlier blogs? Insert it here.
An unexpected medical bill. A vehicle repair. A family emergency. A sudden change in circumstances. These aren't unusual experiences. They're part of life. But their impact can look very different depending on the resources someone has available. For the families and young adults we serve, one unexpected expense can be the difference between maintaining stability and facing another crisis. A missed paycheck might mean falling behind on rent. A transportation problem might mean missing work. An emergency expense might mean choosing between paying a bill and purchasing groceries. And those choices aren't always the result of poor planning or irresponsibility.
Sometimes people are doing everything they can with the resources they have, and something unexpected still happens. That's why the work we do at Meryl's Safe Haven matters. We're not simply providing shelter or housing-related services. We're working to create opportunities for people to establish stability, develop skills, access resources, and build a foundation that can withstand life's unexpected turns and as an organization, we're working toward that same kind of resilience.
Building a sustainable nonprofit takes planning, partnerships, diversified funding, and the flexibility to respond when circumstances change. It also requires recognizing that growth doesn't eliminate challenges. It changes how we prepare for and respond to them.
And for anyone thinking about starting a nonprofit, or perhaps already running one and wondering whether the challenges you're facing are unique to you, let me offer this perspective: You can have a strong mission, a thoughtful plan, an incredible team, and still encounter circumstances you never anticipated.
When I co-founded Meryl's Safe Haven, I knew there would be challenges. I understood that securing funding, developing programs, building partnerships, and establishing a sustainable organization would require patience and persistence. What you can't always anticipate is how those responsibilities will intersect with everything else happening in your life and that's something I wish we talked about more openly in the nonprofit sector.
We celebrate the ribbon cuttings, grant awards, program launches, and milestones.
And we should! Those moments represent tremendous effort and deserve recognition.
But there's an entire story between those accomplishments that rarely makes it into the annual report.
The funding applications that don't get approved.
The expenses that weren't anticipated.
The partnerships that take longer to develop than expected.
The decisions that require you to revisit a plan you were certain would work.
And the moments when you realize that the solution you developed six months ago may no longer be the right solution today.
None of those experiences automatically mean you're doing something wrong.
Sometimes they mean you're learning. Sometimes they mean your organization is growing. And sometimes they mean you need to adjust your approach because the circumstances have changed. My advice?
Build flexibility into your plans. Develop relationships before you need them. Ask questions, even when you think you should already know the answers. And don't measure your organization's progress solely by how smoothly things are going. I often think about how much easier it is to navigate an unexpected expense when you have a financial cushion, a support system, or someone who can help you figure out the next step. Not everyone has those things.
And that's why community matters.
That's why partnerships matter.
That's why generosity matters.
Because sometimes the difference between a temporary setback and a life-altering crisis is simply having someone or something available to help bridge the gap, but October also reminded me that unexpected costs aren't always financial.
Sometimes the cost is time.
Sometimes it's peace of mind.
Sometimes it's the emotional energy required to navigate uncertainty.
And sometimes it's realizing that you've been moving from one responsibility to the next without giving yourself a moment to process what's happening. There were moments in October when I needed to stop. Not walk away. Not give up. Not question the work I've committed myself to. Just stop.
Stop thinking about the next meeting. Stop anticipating the next challenge. Stop trying to figure out what needed to happen tomorrow before I'd even finished processing today. And
I'll admit, that doesn't always come naturally to me.
I'm a planner. A problem-solver. Someone who likes to identify the next step and keep things moving, but not everything requires an immediate solution.
Sometimes you need a moment to absorb unexpected news.
Sometimes you need to sit with uncertainty rather than rush to resolve it.
Sometimes you need to be present with the people you love.
And sometimes you simply need a few minutes when nobody needs an answer from you.
There were moments when I needed to stop. And there were moments when I didn't feel like I could. That distinction stayed with me. Because being capable of managing responsibilities doesn't mean every moment needs to be filled with them and taking time to pause doesn't mean you're falling behind.
For those leading nonprofit organizations, I think that's an especially important distinction. We often enter this work because we're passionate about making a difference. But passion doesn't eliminate the need for boundaries, thoughtful planning, or personal time. In fact, those things help us sustain the work we're so committed to doing. A mission worth pursuing doesn't require us to respond to every situation immediately. It requires us to build the systems, relationships, and leadership capacity that allow the mission to continue moving forward. And sometimes that begins with recognizing that taking a moment isn't the same as taking a step backward.
I haven't mastered that lesson.
Not even close.
But October certainly gave me a few opportunities to practice.
Remembering What Matters
As November begins, I've been thinking more deeply about Día de los Muertos. Traditionally observed on November 1 and 2, Día de los Muertos is a time to honor loved ones who have passed, celebrate their lives, and recognize the ways their memories and legacies remain part of us. It's a beautiful reminder that the people who shape our lives continue to influence who we become, even after they're no longer physically present.
For me, that reflection feels especially meaningful this year. I've been thinking about family. About generations. About the people whose sacrifices, lessons, and love helped create the opportunities I have today. I've also been thinking about the people we're still fortunate enough to have with us.
The conversations we can still have.
The stories we can still hear.
The memories we still have time to make.
Sometimes we spend so much energy planning for the future that we forget to appreciate what's happening in the present. We're thinking about the next milestone, the next project, the next accomplishment. And while there's nothing wrong with having goals, life occasionally reminds us that the people who share our journey are just as important as the destination.
At Meryl's Safe Haven, legacy is something I think about often. Our organization was founded with the belief that circumstances should not determine someone's opportunities in life. We work every day to help families and young adults move beyond immediate challenges and toward futures filled with possibility. That work is about more than providing services. It's about creating opportunities that can influence families and communities for generations. It's about building something meaningful that extends beyond any one person. And it's about recognizing that the decisions we make today can shape someone else's tomorrow.
For anyone considering starting a nonprofit, I think that's one of the most important questions you can ask yourself. Not simply, "What organization do I want to create?" But, "What difference do I want this organization to make long after I'm no longer the person leading it?"Because building a nonprofit isn't just about responding to a need that exists today. It's about developing something that can continue creating opportunities, supporting people, and making a difference well into the future. That requires more than passion.
It requires vision, accountability, relationships, and a willingness to make decisions that strengthen the organization beyond your own involvement. And it requires remembering why you started. But legacy isn't only about what we leave behind. It's also about how we choose to live, love, serve, and show up while we're here. October reminded me of that. Not through some grand revelation or perfectly timed inspirational moment. More like a series of unexpected interruptions that kept reminding me to pay attention. And perhaps that's what I needed.
Not another lesson in perseverance.
Not another reminder to work harder.
But a reminder to be present.
To appreciate the ordinary moments before they become memories.
To make room for the people and experiences that matter.
And to recognize that sometimes the most meaningful thing we can accomplish in a day has absolutely nothing to do with our professional responsibilities.
So, October, Here's What I've Learned
As I look back on October, I can acknowledge that it was a challenging month without allowing those challenges to define it.
There were difficult moments, certainly.
There were unexpected expenses.
There were situations I wouldn't have chosen and circumstances I couldn't have anticipated.
But there were also reasons to be grateful.
Tank came home.
There were people who showed up, offered support, and reminded me of the importance of connection.
There was progress at Meryl's Safe Haven, even amid the ordinary complexities of running a growing organization.
And there were moments of perspective that I might not have experienced had everything gone according to plan.
As we enter November and the season of giving, I hope we remember that generosity isn't always measured in dollars.
Sometimes it's giving someone your time.
Offering a little patience.
Checking in on someone you haven't spoken to in a while.
Supporting an organization doing meaningful work.
Making room for a conversation that matters.
Or simply recognizing that the people around us may be navigating circumstances we know nothing about. Of course, financial generosity remains essential, especially for organizations like Meryl's Safe Haven that depend on community support to sustain and expand our work.
But I hope we also remember the value of presence, compassion, and connection.
Because those things matter, too.
And as we gather for this month's Community Meal, continuing our reflection on Día de los Muertos, perhaps we can also be more intentional about appreciating the people who are still here.
The people who make us laugh.
The people who challenge us.
The people who support us.
The people whose stories are still being written alongside our own.
And to my fellow nonprofit leaders, especially those who are just getting started, I hope these reflections serve as a reminder that you don't have to have every answer before taking the next step.
One of the reasons I started sharing my experiences through this blog was to create space for conversations we don't always have about nonprofit leadership. Not just the successes, but the decisions, lessons, unexpected challenges, and realities that come with building and sustaining an organization. I don't write these reflections because I've figured everything out. I write them because I'm still learning, too. And if something I've experienced helps another founder prepare for a challenge, approach a decision differently, or simply recognize that their experience isn't unusual, then sharing it has served its purpose.
There is no perfect roadmap for building a nonprofit. But there is tremendous value in learning from the experiences of those who are doing the work. So whether you're considering starting an organization, celebrating your first year, or navigating your tenth, remember that the goal isn't to avoid every unexpected turn. It's to build something meaningful, remain open to learning, and develop the relationships and resources that will help your organization navigate whatever comes next. And if you're facing a challenge right now, I encourage you to talk about it. Connect with another nonprofit leader. Ask how they handled a similar situation. Share what you've learned.
We don't have to reinvent every wheel, and we certainly don't have to pretend we have all the answers. Sometimes the most valuable resource we can offer one another is simply our experience.
As for me, I'm entering November with gratitude, perspective, and a slightly renewed appreciation for an uneventful day. I'm still excited about the work ahead. I'm still looking forward to the opportunities we're creating at Meryl's Safe Haven, and I'm still committed to building something that will make a meaningful difference for years to come, but I'm also going to keep working on recognizing those moments when I need to stop.
Not because everything is falling apart.
Not because I can't keep going.
But because sometimes the most important thing happening in your life isn't the next thing on your to-do list.
So, October, we need to talk. You certainly kept things interesting.
You reminded me that plans can change, expenses can appear out of nowhere, and even the most organized calendar can't account for everything life has in store. You also reminded me about family, love, perspective, and the importance of being present. And while I appreciate the lessons, I think we can agree that you've made your point.
November, I'm looking forward to meeting you.
But if you could keep the plot twists to a minimum, I'd really appreciate it.
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